“On Saturday afternoons when all the things are done in the house and there’s no real work to be done, I play Bach and Chopin and turn it up real loudly and get a good bottle of chardonnay and sit out on my deck and look out at the garden.” – Maya Angelou
When I first started gardening, I remember that I couldn’t even grow mint. The plant would start off well, but within a few weeks, it would die off. Keep in mind (for those that don’t garden), mint is one of the easiest herbs to grow. In fact, it often grows like a weed and is fairly invasive if planted amongst other herbs and veggies. When we bought our first home, I was determined to develop my green thumb. I remember my dear aunt, with her 1-acre fenced garden, who provided our family with many delicious meals, homemade wines, canned veggies, and pickled condiments throughout the years. As I stood by her side shelling peas and picking concord grapes, I fell in love with the abundance of nature and the wonder of the plant kingdom. What I didn’t know was how easy she made gardening seem.
Fast-forward to our first year in our home, my oldest son convinced me to start a garden. I decided to purchase a raised bed and plant a few things. I think we ended up with a few tomatoes and cucumbers, and not much else. Gardening can be hard! But, when I sat and thought about it, I had come a long way from killing mint plants! Yet, I was only beginning to understand planting and harvest cycles. In fact, there was so much to learn. Gardening is beyond just dropping some seeds in the dirt and hoping for the best. I delved into learning about no-dig gardening methods, permaculture, indigenous cultivation methods, and aquaponics. I eventually got to the point where I had mint growing by the truck load! Yet, along the way, there were so many challenges: giant groundhogs, rabbits, insects, boggy soil, drought, and the list goes on. I learned that there were plants that didn’t get along with each other (seriously, can’t we all just get along?) and plants that were besties (yay, companion planting!). I had dozens of seedlings that I had faithfully tended to indoors for weeks only to be devoured by groundhogs overnight. I had strawberries that I was eagerly anticipating eating mysteriously disappear by the paws of some as-of-yet-unidentified creature. There were vines that bore no fruit and plants that died suddenly and unexpectedly.
The garden sounds like a frustrating place right? In witnessing the seeming ease in which my aunt grew baskets full of food, I recognized that most dreams seem easy to attain until one attempts to actualize them. Yet, strangely, the garden has provided me refuge when I’m feeling most frustrated with life. Witnessing my personal growth from a dying mint plant to a thriving, if imperfect, garden (and also, apparently, a banquet hall to many other creatures) makes me realize that all dreams are possible with work, loving attention, and patience. Angst at a failed melon harvest tends to melt away when witnessing the unexpected abundance of a surprise bumper crop of raspberries. Similarly, a heartbreaking day seems less painful when my hands touch soft, forgiving earth and I witness the birth of a baby veggie that was merely a bud just days before.
There are so many more ways that gardening can become a balm for life frustrations. Here are just a few ways you can use gardening to melt those disappointments away:
- Make your garden unique. Your garden can be as unique as you are. Take time to find ways to express yourself as fully as possible in your space, no matter how big or small. Special landscaping using materials found in your yard, water features, works of art or cultural expressions that touch your heart can all create a space that is a breath of fresh air after a lousy day.
- Make gardening easy. Don’t push yourself to the point of pain or exhaustion. Using permaculture or indigenous gardening methods can eliminate or greatly reduce the need for weeding and pest control. Purchasing or making high raised beds saves your back by reducing the need for stooping or bending over. The point here is to release frustration, rather than add to it!
- Create a place to sit and relax in or near your garden. Handmade benches or other outdoor furniture are awesome places to soak in the sun and ease your mind.
- Create crafts from plants that grow in your garden. Candles or soap made with lavender blooms, crowns made using daisies or dandelions, gifts of homemade elderberry syrup are the icing on the proverbial gardening cake.
- Bask in nature’s beauty. It can be reassuring to witness life cycles in a garden. Nothing ever truly dies. Annuals break down into compost which nourishes the soil and billions of microbes nesting within. Perennials are reborn in a new season. Everything gives birth to itself. Even the “dead” of winter provides a rest cycle in preparation for spring rebirth (yet, there are veggies that grow in the snow…how cool is that?!).
I have solved problems, sent silent prayers, meditated, prayed, danced, and played in my garden. I invite you to release your frustrations while spending time in yours!
