As a healthcare provider, I’m very aware of how powerless we are in some areas of our lives. Things like delays, errors, accidents, diseases, natural or man-made catastrophes, violence and even death can throw us off balance. We’re still in the midst of a worldwide pandemic. All of these life events can add up to an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. If left unchecked, this constant feeling of helplessness can spiral into feelings of despair and depression.
If you want to feel like you have control over your life, focus most of your energy on what you can manage or master. In fact, there are so many daily activities encompassing this “manage or master” category that it’s hard to know where to start. Before you get too overwhelmed, please don’t try to control every aspect of your life to the point where you’re exhausted or burned out! Instead, imagine yourself in the driver’s seat of your life. Even if there are challenges and decisions along the way, you’re in control of where you end up.
You need to empower yourself as the master of your daily behavior. This means a shift in mindset by embracing thought processes and behaviors that help you get where you want to go. Here are a few guidelines to help you on your journey:
1. Act Like a Master- Release feelings of victimhood. This requires accepting the power that you have over your wellness, be it physical, mental, financial, emotional, etc. Not physically fit? Design an exercise regime that works with your schedule (even 5 minutes at a time, if that’s all you have). Having financial troubles? Create a budget, seek professional advice, or learn skills to improve your business or increase your marketability in the workplace.
2. Be Your Own Parent- Self-parenting means tending to your inner child and reclaiming the wonders of childhood while simultaneously processing painful past experiences. This involves proper self-care, creating boundaries for yourself, self-soothing and minding your mood, cultivating faith in the goodness of yourself and others.
3. Shed Self-Sabotaging Actions- Don’t allow yourself to fall into destructive behaviors and thinking. This means identifying what sets you up for failure, such as negative self-talk, anxiety, low self-esteem, trauma, limiting beliefs, or fear. Once you identify your triggers, uncover what preceded them, then work towards replacing each one with more empowering rituals or behaviors.
4. Engage Your Imagination- Anything ever done and created by humans was first conceived in the imagination before it became reality. Oftentimes, the “realities” of life and being around other uninspired people can lead to stunted creativity. Yet, imagination is the starting point for creativity. To quote Einstein, “Creativity is Intelligence having fun.” Imagination is essential in order to unlock inspiration. Creativity is essential in order to awaken the mind, unroot old patterns, and establish newer ways of thinking. Seeing something from a new perspective can create new possibilities in your life.
5. Act in Your Own Best Interest- Think about babies. As caretakers, we make sure they are fed, changed, bathed, and cuddled without fail. We understand that the consequences of not doing this creates an unhappy baby and, at worst, signal profound parental neglect. Yet, when we become adults, we believe the fallacy that we can still function optimally when we neglect basic self-care needs.
6. De-Stress- Destressing is an active process that involves putting that fight-or-flight tendency to bed and engaging the restful, playful, or peaceful part of ourselves. This requires eliminating any unnecessary stressors. Activities like walking, deep breathing, stretching, listening to calming music, hobbies, massage, and spending time in nature go a long way to cultivating calmness and self-regulation.
7. Connect with Others- Let’s face it, even the human connections can be messy and, sometimes, annoying. However, having a strong network of social support can provide a strong anchor in the face of life’s storms. There is a tremendous mutual benefit in sharing our lives with others. As Proverbs 27:17 states: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”.
Life doesn’t have to feel like something that happens to us. We can condition ourselves to proactively participate in creating wonderful life experiences.
"You are the only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life.”
Need additional support to level-up your life? Check out our Self-Empowerment Course!
